Matchmaking the new generation
Dating has changed an incredible amount in the last few decades, beyond what the laymen amongst us would have predicted. Unsurprisingly, there are some elements of finding love that have most definitely stayed the same, and likely always will. One of these is the expectation of parents and extended families, who regardless of the choices now available, can still have some very rigid checklists of their own. Matchmaking in these circumstances means being adept at honouring both the new world and the more traditional ways of thinking.
Independence of thought
We live in a time and society that more than ever encourages people to think for themselves, to know they can have and be anything they want. With this comes the belief that the partners we choose no longer need conform to society’s expectations of us. For parents and guardians intent on ensuring their offspring end up with the right person, being aware of this is vital for minimal stress, and maximum success when encouraging potential matches.
When you’re invested in someone’s relationship status, whether personally or professionally, and understand that dictating the best match for them rarely goes down well, it gives you an opportunity to assess your own motivations. Without realising it, part of the drive for wanting to see someone coupled can be a selfish one, i.e. a parent wanting grandchildren, or wanting to know their children will be taken care of when they’re no longer around. As innocent as these and many other reasons are, it’s impossible and unfair to force someone into a particular life path because it makes us feel better.
When matchmaking the new generation, and whatever role you’re playing in this, it’s a perfect time to fine-tune your listening skills and get into the mind of what they really want from love. A person’s independence of thought should never be taken for granted or overlooked. A good matchmaker will advise and give an opinion, but then always step back and allow an individual to have his or her own experience.
Casting a wider net
Thankfully, matchmaking has come extremely far from the days of a well-connected relative spreading the word in a community. Quality matchmaking, specific and tailored searches for the partner who fits your needs, now has a global reach and an international pool from which to find future mates. For the new generation it can be quite a daunting thought, but also exciting to know that limitations are few.
The reality of having so much choice can also present issues not previously considered, such as meeting matches who are of different ethnicities, traditions and who perhaps come from a slightly different values system to your own. Flexibility, tolerance and open-mindedness is an asset that this generation has embraced whole-heartedly, and so again it can oftentimes come down to whether older generations are as accepting of their dating choices.
One of the key pieces of advice that can be given to the new generation, who has access to social media, the seemingly perfect couplings on Instagram and impromptu friend requests on Facebook, is that not all that glitters is gold. Simply because options have expanded, it doesn’t mean that the boy or girl next door isn’t the perfect one for you.
A new way of defining happiness
In yesteryear, it may have been the case that true happiness was confused with successfully settling down. Meaning finding someone stable to marry, set up home with and then create a family. Nowadays, the order of such events can be very different, with a focus more on fulfilment and getting as much from life as possible. Even if the aims underlying this new drive for fulfilment are indeed a home and stable family, the new generation is a lot less willing to settle for this alone. It’s a choice they’re making that needs to be respected because ultimately it’s their life, not ours.
Matchmaking the new generation is a delicate process but the learning curves they have are fully necessary to their lives. The focus should be taken away from time constraints, or the need for instant relationship perfection, and placed squarely on the self-awareness and growth necessary to make any connection with the right one a success.
by Tori Ufondu