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What constitutes a high calibre partner will vary from person to person, dependent on their background, their outlook on life and the future they’re intent on creating with this person. To determine what you personally consider high calibre, it’s important you know what your end game is and whether your actions match the frequency of those results. What do I mean? I mean that you’re unlikely to bag yourself someone who’s a match to your vegan lifestyle, if you spend most of your time in steakhouses.
However you personally choose to attract a partner who fits in with your needs, there are some universal rules that must be applied in order for it to be successful. We have a list of the top four here.
1 – Be high calibre yourself, in some way
Like attracts like and if you’re looking for a certain type of partner then you should have an idea of what they would find appealing or, how you’re able to complement each other. If you want someone cultured, make sure that you’re reading, listening to music, visiting the theatre or watching the right shows yourself. Waiting for someone to show you or introduce you to this lifestyle is the wrong way to go about it. Be it, as much as you can yourself, before you expect it from others.
If you don’t have the physical means, due to time, location, or finances, to have the lone experiences you would like to share with a new partner, then do it in another way. Everything is so widely accessible now, you can watch operas on Youtube and download recipes for gourmet meals online – there is very little reason to be held back.
2 – Don’t be ashamed and don’t be judgmental
There is sometimes a fine line between guilt over wanting more than what’s presented to you in life and being dismissive of those who don’t live up to it. People around us can label us with terms such as ‘picky, difficult, snooty…’ when we signal expectations that are higher than most, but don’t make this your problem.
Before you embark on finding the high calibre partner you need, make sure you’re able to drown out any negative noise that would prefer you settle or conform to what others want for you. Don’t be ashamed for needing or expecting what you want, but also, don’t tip over into being judgemental and dismissive of everyone who doesn’t fulfil those criteria.
3 – Don’t mistake material possessions for class or manners
A huge mistake people make when looking for partners of a certain standard is that they assume the person automatically comes with manners, respect and some element of self awareness. This is not the case. At all.
People who have great financial or material wealth are not always nice. Men and women who are cultured, successful, even pillars of a community, are not always this amazing behind closed doors – or indeed in front of them. For this reason, keep your senses about you, keep your intuition ticking and make sure that you’re getting the complete package you need, before investing in a relationship.
4 – Be detailed, really detailed
It’s nowhere near enough to have a vague idea of the sort of partner you want to be with, you need to get extremely detailed. As with the point above, people are not always what they present themselves as or what we expected, so ensure you have a fully formed picture of everything you would like in a partner, not just the fact that they’re CEO of a fortune 500 company.
Ask yourself how this person treats people, how do they look after themselves, what are their hobbies, how do they handle stress, confrontation, who are they when they love someone? If you know what you’re looking for, it may be easier to spot it when it shows up.
Written by Tori Ufondu for Macbeth Matchmaking