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So, you’re going about your daily business as a single person, enjoying your quiet meals for one, watching old comedy re-runs on TV and hanging out with friends occasionally. You’re perfectly secure in your singledom until BAM! it’s Valentine’s Day and all hell breaks loose.
Simultaneously your anonymity as a single person increases and the spotlight of how alone you are begins to descend. The sanity you previously knew disappears, suddenly no one is available at the weekend, people are actually making plans, proposing engagement to one another, booking nights away in swanky hotels. The world appears to be love struck. Even your best friend, who was only yesterday asking your advice on breaking up with him, is now excited as a small child. Feel familiar?
Well, this year we at Macbeth Matchmaking are representing the single guys and gals out there. We’ve asked and you’ve told us, in no uncertain terms, just why single people roll their eyes as the calendar flips over to February.
Because couples play pretend!
“Single people are tired of couples who spend half the year fighting and the other half making up, suddenly pretending to be madly, unquestionably in love and issue-free. It would appear that people in relationships are extremely skilled at losing all memory of indiscretions, arguments and incompatibility when the big V day rolls around. And we’re the sad ones for being alone? I think not. I’d rather be alone in reality than coupled up in fantasy land!”
Sam, 42
Takeaways take about 4 hours to arrive!
“Ordering a take away from our favourite restaurant is a complete non-starter, or it takes about 4 hours to arrive because staff are too busy hiding engagement rings in chocolate mousse, or handing out roses to women who’ll forget them on the table anyway! The least us single folk deserve is a decent meal for one, but even that’s taken away.” Markus, 34
I just want to buy some milk
“Going to the supermarket for simple things like bread and milk becomes a battle, for at least a month, and is a constant reminder that we have no one sharing our bed at night. Navigating through the candy, the massive cuddly toys, cardboard hearts, the extra alcohol – it all feels like entering a theme park that we didn’t agree or actually want to go to.” Alexander, 29
Zero taxis
“So if us single people do decide to go out, on our own, or in lonely-people-gangs, two things happen. One, is that we’re made to feel a nuisance by couples who ‘just wanted a quiet, romantic evening out’ and the other is that we end up at a bus stop because you’ve taken all the taxis and are obliviously smooching on the backseat! Hardly fair when you have each other to keep you warm, I can’t exactly cuddle up with Barry from work. There’s not enough cheap champagne in the world to make me do that.” Sven, 47
The television takes over
“All the people celebrating Valentine’s are either out at dinner, or home staring into each other’s eyes, right? So why is my TV invaded by romantic films and comedy classics from the 80s and 90s? Why are these now suddenly relevant? And what’s the point if everyone loved up is busy serenading one another? It makes no sense. There should be films about strong single men and women, courageously exploring the planet.” Augustine, 38
It has dark and questionable origins
“Do people actually know where this Hallmark holiday originated from? I don’t think they do, or else they just don’t care. The likelihood is that it came from some sort of pagan festival, full of debauchery and mischief, that is as far from real love as one can get. Yes it’s been sweetened up and soft-lighted by our card companies, but I guess people in relationships don’t have time to read books!” Gustav, 31
The sympathy
“Everyone knows we’re single, that we’re alone, that we’ll likely be spending the day and night alone. That doesn’t mean we want your pity texts or Whatsapp messages, wishing us a Happy Valentine’s Day. We get it, you love us. But we’re not sleeping with you, so it doesn’t count. Either ignore us or just act like natural, we can take it.” Jessica, 34
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