It has to be said, women usually have no trouble taking care of themselves on a superficial level. By this, we mean that hair, makeup, nails and body image are usually at the forefront of our minds. If there’s a new lotion or potion, we want to hear about it, try it and possibly recommend it to our friends. What can occasionally take a backseat, is our mental and emotional well-being, the part of us that far surpasses the importance of how we appear to the outside world. If you sometimes have trouble putting your mental and emotional health first, here are some of the most important pointers we can give you.
Give yourself some real time
As fun as it may be, time for yourself shouldn’t always be synonymous with time with the ladies, a cheeky bottle of wine or a shopping trip where you buy yourself happy. Whilst we’re all different and you should do whatever makes you feel good, consider doing something alone, that is long lasting and which connects you with yourself on a deeper level.
Options are as many as there are types of woman in the world and can be as wide ranging as reading, listening to music, yoga, working out or painting. We’re talking about something that is accessible from anywhere, that you can do without the need for masses of preparation, money, people, or time. Being able to zone in as well as zone out, is crucial in not losing yourself in your relationship. Discover our dating and matchmaking services here.
Stop making comparisons
Looking after number one must not be confused with comparing yourself to others and trying to keep up. Wishing your relationship was like other people’s, or hoping your man will start to treat you the same way as someone else’s, is not a constructive way to initiate any change you may feel is necessary. Comparisons, unless you’re really ready to use them in a positive way, will only ground you further into the negative feelings you don’t want to be experiencing.
If you want to put yourself first, try spending some time assessing what you personally want from a relationship, irrespective of what the woman next door, or at work may be getting. It’s okay to look at others and appreciate what they have, but you will never get the full picture of someone else’s life, so it’s best to come up with your own requirements in love. Once you know for sure what it is you need, go find this, communicate it and believe that it’s out there. Your life is about you, not how closely you can imitate someone else’s.
Know your worth
There are many women who know their worth but are too fearful to really act on this knowledge, or to have faith in it. If the way a partner is treating you jars with your sense of self or what you think you deserve, then learning to have the courage of your convictions and act accordingly should be a key focus during ‘me time.’ This means not living from a fear based mindset, not staying in relationships because you’re too scared to leave, and not accepting bad behaviour because it’s easier than doing the work to change.
Cultivate your sense of worth by making ‘me time’ into a routine. Know that it’s just as valuable as the time you spend running around after your children, taking care of your partner or holding down a career.
Do have goals
Goals in a relationship go hand-in-hand with looking after your emotional and mental wellbeing. Even if your goal is to not get involved in anything too serious, knowing this stops you getting caught up in situations that are more complex than you’re willing to deal with. If you meet someone who’s incapable of giving you what you currently desire in life, it’s easier to spot if you have pre-set goals that you evaluate often and are certain about.
Nothing helps an individual as much as them knowing themselves and being able to distinguish between their own and other people’s needs.
Learn to trust yourself
Put down the magazines, the self-help books and learn to hone and trust your instincts in the time that you spend with yourself. As much as possible throughout your life, you have to understand and believe that you’re the best person qualified to look after yourself and the things that will help you to thrive in life. Asking advice from the people you trust and seeking opinions is fine, but the final decisions in all things personal should be down to you. Whether you make the wrong or right choices, be sure to support yourself, whatever happens.
Written by Victoria Ufondu for Macbeth Matchmaking