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So you’re dating after a divorce? This can be a challenging prospect, full of potential pitfalls, so it’s a good idea to get some guidance around how to go about it and what to expect. At the same time, it’s important to stay positive and set some goals in order to stay focused and help navigate the process. Don’t worry, many people find themselves in this situation and you’re not alone!
Remember to be realistic about your prospects and take it slowly – after a divorce you most probably don’t want to rush into a new relationship head-on. You’re still healing from the divorce and your previous marriage so it’s understandable to want to slow down the pace. Take your time, see how you feel each day and don’t make any rash decisions early on.
Why do you want to start dating again? Is it the right time? Think about whether it’s too soon after the divorce to jump straight back into the dating game. It might be best to wait a bit longer before looking for a new partner! Some people need a good few months on their own to think things through, reflect on the past and figure out exactly what they want in terms of romance in their lives going forward. Don’t be afraid to spend some quiet time with yourself first, figuring things out and learning from previous mistakes. The insights you’ll gain will pay back dividends in future relationships and will increase your chances of a more successful and lasting upcoming partnership!
A good tip before going back into the dating for professionals game is to look within and decide carefully what kind of new relationship you’re aiming for – another serious relationship, or something more casual? This decision will guide your actions and steps to take. There are different apps and services available, for example, for one kind of relationship or another. You might consider casual dating initially, before looking for another life partner. Whatever you decide will set your expectations and is something you will need to ensure the other person is aware of too, of course, to avoid misunderstandings and “leading people on”.
How long has it been since your divorce? How do you feel about yourself and your divorce right now? Are you still in touch with your ex-partner? Make sure you’re not simply going back into dating as a revenge or rebound tactic – this will lead to disappointment and frustration, most likely, so do stay away from these toxic motivations. You want to be in a relatively steady, stable and clear place both emotionally and psychologically before taking the plunge. They people you date will be able to sense the place you’re at and will react accordingly!
Take this next stage of your sentimental life slowly – don’t rush into anything! The clearer you are about your expectations and objectives, the better going back into dating will be for you. Friendships and connections with loved ones will be vital at this stage, so don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family to share your experiences and ask for support. Give yourself time – going through a divorce is a very challenging and intense experience for any of us, but it’s one that can open up incredible opportunities for change and transformation.
Be sure to think carefully about the kind of person you’re looking for in post-divorce dating. What didn’t work out from previous relationships? What would you change? Have you changed? Are you looking for a different kind of partner now? Are there decisions you took in the past in terms of dating and partner selection that you wouldn’t want to repeat? What are your new priorities and relationship goals? How does setting up a family factor into your plans? Are you truly ready for another big emotional commitment? Under what terms?
Remember your friends! It’s not all about dating and big relationships. You’re allowed to have some light hearted fun, too! Besides, it’ll benefit your dating process too as your partners will notice how relaxed you are. Particularly after a divorce, it’s only healthy to combine dating with having fun with your friends. They’re there for you, and will make time for you in this difficult stage of your life. They’ll provide that much needed boost of self-confidence in you and will listen to what you’re going through: you owe it to yourself.
You mustn’t forget about self-care and self-love, too: two very important concepts while in the dating game and especially so after a divorce. Make sure you’re eating well and getting plenty of exercise, or take on some new classes at the gym. There are so many ways to keep healthy and track our physical wellbeing nowadays. Your dates will notice and it’ll make you that much more attractive and desirable when looking for a new partner. But above all else, do it for you! Enjoy feeling good and treating yourself well.
In short, take some time out to really think about your needs and priorities and don’t feel pressurised into rushing into the dating game or into another big emotional relationship after a divorce. Do some soul searching first to figure out your goals and make sure you take the next step when you’re good and ready. It’ll make it work so much better when you finally do decide to take that step!