Dating someone with kids
What are the main challenges to dating someone with kids? What are the pitfalls and common issues that arise in this scenario? It’s wise to get clued up about this particular situation ahead of time to avoid nasty surprises. Dating someone with kids is not for the faint-hearted! So the best advice is be prepared and get ready to adjust your expectations.
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What are the main challenges to dating someone with kids? What are the pitfalls and common issues that arise in this scenario? It’s wise to get clued up about this particular situation ahead of time to avoid nasty surprises. Dating someone with children is not for the faint-hearted! So the best advice is be prepared and get ready to adjust your expectations.
Also, not all parents are the same – their priorities and resources will change depending on the size of their families, whether or not they are a single parent, whether or not they work, the age of their kids, and many other factors. So we shouldn’t apply the same rules to all situations! How parents manage their time is a very personal aspect of their lives and is something that must be respected and appreciated, as being a parent in any situation is never a walk in the park!
Why date with someone with kids
There are many advantages to dating someone with kids. Parents are more likely to be more responsible, mature and on top of things, as raising children, be it on their own or with a partner, tends to make adults more resilient and quick-thinking. They are also more likely to be very clear about what they are looking for in a relationship, in a dating scenario or in a partner, which is always a good thing as it means less time-wasting for everyone!
Dating single parents may even work out positively and engaging with the kids could prove to be a very uplifting and transformative experience – it may help you grow on a personal level and may well allow you to discover aspects of your character which you didn’t know you had, such as a more caring, parental or fun-loving, spontaneous, joyous side. It may help you reconnect with your inner child again! Here you’ll find some tips to date single moms!
Tips for dating someone with a child
So what should you be looking out for specifically? You should start by understanding that parents usually have a lot of time constraints in their daily lives, and you should be ready to adapt to their schedule. If the child is very young, the parent will be dealing with feeding times, nap times, possible medical o paediatrician appointments, nursery or kindergarten drop-off and pick-up times, and a whole host of other commitments and obligations. So if you’re truly interested, you’ll need to move around their calendar, as the child or children will always take first place for someone with a child! What to expect when dating a single parent:
Don’t worry too much about the fact that they are a parent! It may seem daunting at first, but there are many different types of parent. You won’t necessarily be expected to fully engage with their child, if you prefer not to at first! Parents will be sympathetic and understanding with non-parents and will appreciate that it looks a little scary at first. They will remember what it was like before they became a parent! So it’s important to remember that you won’t necessarily be asked to “parent” the child – in fact, the parent you’re dating may even be dating because they want a bit of a break from being a parent, and connect with the “real world” again, even for a couple of hours a week. It’s a tough job!
Flexibility is key, as parents are typically very short of time. For example, they may only be able to meet at certain times of the day, for example late in the evening or just after lunch, or certain days of the week or weekend, or even for short dates.Make sure you don’t make strict demands on their free time, such as planning a full weekend away somewhere, or a long romantic dinner late at night, as these kinds of plans just might not fit around their hectic schedule. They might have to be working late at night, or getting up very early to feed or look after their child. Again, this will depend heavily on the age and number of kids they have.
Lower your expectations on their priorities
Parents will obviously prioritise their children above everything else, particularly in the first years when the children are still very young. So don’t expect to always be at the centre of their attention! Demanding a lot of attention from a parent who’s dating will not work, as it will come across as a mark of disrespect and lack of understanding of their lifestyle and needs.
This will be a great opportunity to show your caring, understanding side, by being flexible and lowering your expectations. The parent you’re dating will notice this and will definitely appreciate your maturity.
Don’t hurry, every relationship needs time
Don’t rush into things! All relationships develop slowly, over time, and dating with a parent is no exception. In fact, a relationship with a parent probably needs even more time to develop and progress, considering the divided attention and priorities the parent will necessarily have and the time constraints on their free time.
So don’t hurry the parent and get into the mindset that dating a parent won’t be a quick fix – it’s more of a slow burner, but most likely very much worth the wait!
Don’t compare yourself with the kids
This is a big no-no: you’re not one of the parents’ kids! Remember your place in the equation, and appreciate that a date will never, and should never, replace the parent’s child or children in importance or priorities. You’ll need to be OK with taking a back seat from time to time – it’s not always just going to be about you! So a high level of self-esteem and self-assuredness will be required, as you’ll need to remind yourself often that just because the parent is prioritising their kid, it doesn’t mean they’re not into you! It’s sometimes difficult for non-parents to appreciate how much time it takes to be a good parent as there is always so much going on at once.
Short fragment summarizing the whole post
In summary, dating someone with kids can often be a fully rewarding experience, and may give you the chance to date someone who is clear about their needs and desires and doesn’t waste time. But you must be ready to take a back seat and not always be the date’s number 1 priority, as well as lowering your expectations on the free time they have available. But if you can do that, you may even find yourself engaging with the children and bringing out a better side of you in the process! Macbeth can help you dating again after a divorce, check out our website!