Falling in love with someone else

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Some tips if you feel you are falling in love with someone else

When you are in a monogamous relationship, feeling a profound connection with a third party is something that could cause a variety of problems, especially if you act on these feelings in a way that completely disregards your current relationship. The first thing to do is to think things slowly and seriously.
Once you calm down and realize that this is not just something to take lightly then you will want to:

  • Get to the root of the feelings
  • Stop the communication with the new person if necessary
  • Figure out if the feeling outweighs your relationship
  • Discuss the issue with your partner

The first three are definitely individual work that should be put in from your side, but ultimately, if the feelings are too strong to contain, your partner should be made aware of the situation.

What to do if I’m falling in love with someone else

1. Get to the root of the feelings

If whatever you are feeling for this person is strong enough to make you consider it love, you should put it under a magnifying glass. Ask yourself first and foremost “why is this happening?”
Think about what could be lacking in your existing relationship, since you are possibly looking for these traits in someone else. Consider your emotional or physical connection and what about it doesn’t feel fulfilling enough to you.
Be aware that falling in love with someone is not necessarily about how your current partner acts, but more so about your needs being met (or not) within the relationship.

2. Stop the communication with the new person if necessary

When another person is able to affect your relationship to such an extent that a breakup is possible, you need to take some time away from them to really figure everything out. The last thing you want to do is to involve yourself too deeply.
Cut the communication and give yourself time to think without their presence being a constant distractor. It will also help you see if you miss this person or just how they make you feel overall.
Think, “are they a way to scape or add spark to my life, or am i genuinely enthralled by them?”

3. Figure out if the feeling outweighs your relationship

Examine your feelings for the person whom you’re still sharing a life with. The answer should not depend on the presence of this new person in your life, you should really consider your feelings for your significant other, see if they stand a chance against the feelings you have cultivated for this new person.
It should not be hard to find out if you like them still in every sense, and beyond that, if you love them and everything you two have built together. If you’re no longer in love, the presence of someone else is almost a mere detail.

4. Discuss the issue with your partner

Falling in love with someone else is one thing, forgetting you have a choice over your actions is another. The best you can do is being honest with your current partner about your feelings.
Maybe nothing has happened, nor will it in the future, but letting them know that you are feeling conflicted opens the door for serious conversations that maybe you two have been avoiding –besides, it is the respectful way to act.
Undeniably, it will be a difficult time for both of you, but betraying your partner’s trust would be worse; honor what you have and be mindful. Try Macbeth Matchmaking, an introduction agency. We can help you get back out there to find that special someone.


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