Maintaining summer romances
With summer comes optimism and energy, a feeling that anything is possible, if only we can dream it. We spend more time outdoors, we’re more open to socialising and if we’re lucky, we meet someone wanting to have just as much fun as we are. Beneath this however, there can sometimes lurk the expectation that the fairy tale won’t last, and to some extent it’s true. The season will change, you’ll both grow and circumstances or priorities may shift. Regardless of this and whether your summer romance makes it through to sundown, here is some advice that can make all the difference to your summer of love.
There will never be another like it
If there’s one lesson to take from summer romances, it must be that we’re all immensely capable of living in the present moment. This mindfulness approach to life has increased in popularity hugely over the last couple of years, and absolutely reflects what most of us have experienced at least one summer in our lives. So enthralled are we with the weather and our newfound youth, that anything outside of the immediate now automatically defaults to a less important status.
Like a compacted and condensed version of our whole lives, first summers with a new partner are utterly unique. This is irrespective of how they begin and when or how they end, it’s always the journey and how it made you feel that is unforgettable. If for no other reason than this, do your best to savour every morsel of time and avoid at all costs getting overly caught up in things that don’t matter.
Summer romances are known for their spontaneity, most in fact are built upon it. When the sun is shining, especially if you live somewhere with significant seasonal shifts, no one is ever quite ready to go home. Embrace these situations and seek to enhance them by paying close attention to any whimsical, possibly heat-induced, comments your partner may make. It could be about their ultimate dreams in life, or smaller and simpler experiences they want to have in the near future. Add these revelations to your own musings or bucket list fantasies and what you’re left with is a treasure trove of activities, to call upon during the warm days and nights.
Be ready and open to doing things that make you both feel outrageous, daring and perhaps even a little irresponsible, but utterly exhilarated at the same time. Sharpen this ability and mark it as sacred, it’s a gift that can keep the fire burning in your relationship long after summer ends.
Acknowledging things for what they are
This is probably one of the easiest times of the year for your internal compass to go with the flow, so try not to expend too much energy sticking to rigid ways of thinking. It’s okay to allow yourself to enjoy relationships without taking them too seriously too quickly. Above all the ambitions of marriage, children and long term security, you’re a human being with needs and some of those may be more immediate than others.
If in your heart you feel your new relationship is going to be a short term match, with only the slim chance of longevity, then use both your intuition and your thinking powers to decide on a course of action. Ensure that it’s mutually rewarding and offers you both what you want as individuals. Are you both still willing to take the journey together, nonetheless? Enjoy yourself knowing that love is full of surprises, but always remain crystal clear on where you both stand and any obvious or subtle limitations to the romance.
Doing something you normally wouldn’t
When compared to being spontaneous, this will probably contain higher levels of fear for you and may challenge beliefs dictated to you by your age, gender, social circle or reputation. Doing something you normally wouldn’t is about breaking free from the restraints of what you and others expect from yourself and creating new ways to experience romance, dating and indeed life.
True summer romances will always include moments spent outside your zone of knowledge or comfort, so allow yourself to purposefully explore your limits if there is trust and support between you and your partner. Keep the adventures going for as long as it feels like the right thing to do. Don’t be afraid to use this summer’s romance to unveil a side of your personality that has been kept under strict lock and key.
Don’t assume it’s going to end
By definition, a summer romance will only last so long. It’s a fleeting moment in your relationship life that will be remembered fondly, for all its good points and the inevitable bittersweet ending. Or so people like to assume. As romantic and familiar as the scene of lovers being forced to part ways may be, it doesn’t actually have to end this way, or at all.
There are many, many couples who meet in the summer, have an absolute ball and then unexpectedly go on to have beautiful and long lasting relationships. Whether you meet on holiday, at a summer party or through dating services, don’t rule out the possibilities or feel too daunted about making plans that extend into the winter months and beyond.
It’s up to the two of you whether you want to agree to end with the memories you make now, or vow to keep creating new ones.
Written by Tori Ufondu for Macbeteh Matchmaking