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Dating a dominant woman can be a steep learning curve for the uninitiated amongst you. It’s likely that when doing so you’ll fall into one of three categories; threatened, nonchalant, or proud. It’s important to identify which you’re in and to decide if that position best represents who you are. Here we’re focusing on those of you who are either nonchalant or proud to be with a woman who is dominant. This is what you need to know.
It may have zero to do with you
Her distrust or lack of faith in your abilities as a man, partner or father may actually have very little to do with you. Women either assume control in situations because they have extremely fixed ideas about how something should be done or, because they have reason to believe they’re the only one capable of correctly completing a task.
If you‘re dating a woman who is used to broken promises and men who have failed to value the things that are important to her, you will need to prove yourself before any real control is shared. Unfortunately, it’s quicker for a dominant woman to do something herself, than watch you get it wrong and have to redo it. Having said this, you will be tested, so do your best when the opportunity arises and she may loosen up.
She doesn’t want to be in charge full time
No matter how powerful, motivated or successful she is, her goal in life is not to be switched on and in control 100 per cent of the time. It’s not.
However minor the action you take that enables her to let go, it will be appreciated by a dominant woman more than you can imagine. This doesn’t mean you can cook dinner once a month, or take the bins out weekly and expect gushing adulation, no. It means that if you see her doing something you’re perfectly capable of doing, in the way she likes (this is key!), you should try to help or take over. Free up any snippets of time she can use to relax and let go.
Respect her individuality
Powerful women are so because they know how to dedicate time to their own interests, and understanding what their independence means to them is mandatory if you want to make things run smoothly. Respecting each other’s time alone is generally a good thing, but it is especially important when you know your partner is very particular about it.
Make sure to be supportive of her hobbies and interests, but do not try to invade those spaces if she very clearly has not invited you to join them. Also, do not interrupt her time alone, whatever it is she is using it for, and instead take it as an opportunity to cultivate your own sense of individuality within the relationship; remember that her wanting to have some space for herself is not a synonym of not wanting to be with you at all.
Be assertive
If you are dating a dominant woman you are probably dating someone who knows what they want and says it right away, so why not try to reciprocate that in your own way?
Do not hide your opinions or thoughts, or shy away from what you would normally share out of fear of creating conflict. If anything, dating someone who is willing to listen and respond with the same energy is definitely what you should strive for. This, of course, does not mean you should try to copy her demeanor, it just means that you should feel able to speak your mind around her because that is what a healthy relationship is based on.
This will also allow you to listen to her opinions more intently, and understand the passion she has for some topics or the disdain she feel towards others.
Share your emotions
People tend to think that dominant women hate men who are able to get vulnerable every once in a while, and that is just an incredibly wrong assumption. Confidence does not equal apathy; dominant women are not heartless monsters that never wish to share emotions and feelings with their significant other, and as opposed to that, they value people who are not ashamed of talking about how they feel in general or regarding something specific.
We are not telling you to cry for three hours straight every day in front of her, but rather to share how you feel when you feel like it without worrying about how that makes you look. There is nothing shameful about being able to connect with someone in a way that few others get to experience, so be less fearful of sharing your emotions.
Challenge her
Okay, she may be set in her ways but guess what… this is a partnership. She may like to eat dinner late, but if you like it early then challenge why there isn’t a compromise in place. If she thinks you’re lazy, challenge by reminding her how controlling she can be and how difficult it is to ‘do’ around her.
Challenge from a place of love and facts, not anger or frustration. It will give her space to grow into someone who sees you as safe, who is willing to be more and do more for her, as long as she acknowledges that you too have needs.
Set boundaries and rules
It can be whatever is meaningful to you, so perhaps no phones at dinner, no putting you down, no moaning about you to friends or family. You should always expect respect, or you both need to move on and find people you’re more compatible with.
Being dominant, particular, or having high standards is not shorthand for simply being a bully. You must be able to step into your full power in these moments and be extremely clear about what is acceptable and what’s not.
Carve out zones that she is well aware are your domain. Whether in the bedroom, kitchen, with the family, car or whatever – you must have places where your authority or control is trusted and rarely challenged. Once you agree on that, it’s a cue for her to let go at these times.
Stay true to who you are
If it’s not who you are, then don’t take her dominance as a cue to be the most submissive version of yourself. If you find yourself being worn down then there’s a problem. Men who are sure in themselves do very well with dominant women because her power is not seen as a negative reflection on their masculinity.
Stay opinionated, stay employed, stay ambitious and relevant. Use her fuel to become even better and stronger, not weaker or less sure of yourself.
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