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If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you can start to feel like you’ve run out of new adventures or exciting experiences. There may be a succession of weekends or evenings where you stare at each other blankly, only to ask “what shall we do?” You know instinctively that free time is precious, so the frustration with only having “I don’t know” for an answer is understandable.
When you get to this roadblock it’s useful to remind yourself that great ideas don’t always have to be new ones and that excitement shows up in many forms. We want you to reimagine some of the pastimes you may have written off and consider reintroducing them, with a new attitude. It’s essential that couples also know how to bond in relaxing ways.
Bath time
When you first started dating, you guys probably had a shower or a bath together. Remember that? It was likely the height of intimacy and romance, a prelude to a night of further unbridled passion. You both new what was coming and the build up only added to the pleasure.
Now, maybe you feel that climbing into a shared bath is a lot of effort for a quick fumble before lights out, but hold on – don’t write it off completely. Assuming you both enjoy baths, you’ll know there’s something about the water, a little steam and gentle background music that not only does wonders for stress levels, but also the ability to communicate. Life can feel softer, more inviting.
Add to this a pot of tea, or a couple of glasses of wine and you have the perfect setting to catch up on each other’s day, reconnect about future plans or simply discuss your feelings. Bonding with a lover never gets old and in fact, these kinds of ritual can keep the lifeblood flowing smoothly through your partnership. It doesn’t all have to be about sex and seduction.
Reading
For those of you who have never experienced it, reading to your partner, or being read to, can be an extremely warm way to express care and love for one another. You don’t necessarily need to have a passion for literature or be an excellent orator. What you do need is a desire to soothe and help your partner unwind. This means reading something that perhaps they’ve chosen, a book or magazine that resonates and lets their imagination get lost in the moment.
If you have an interest in what you’re reading it’s a bonus, but keep an open mind and focus more on the act and the love you’re offering. You can read to your partner in the bath, in the living room instead of watching TV, in the park, or in bed as you both relax for the evening. That’s the beauty of it, it’s flexible and can take place anywhere.
Another option is music. Choose to play music as you sit together on the sofa. Make having a conversation your goal, rather than always seeing it as the by-product of other activities.
Board games
If you reserve these only for when the children are awake, or when friends come over, you’re definitely missing a chance for playtime together as a couple. Whether your forte is Scrabble, Monopoly or Strip Poker, there are multiple ways to make gaming with your lover a night of connection and amusement. Music helps, champagne is a nice touch and a little healthy competition can make you forget the regular day-to-day stresses.
Games get a bad rap as being boring, or on the flipside couples believe they have to be sexualised to make them an acceptable choice. Not so. Find a game to suit the pair of you, if necessary go online and find a new one that neither of you have played and go for that. Yes, many are a little saucy and geared for couples, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the classics either.
Creativity
Creating with your partner uses an entirely different part of your brain than you’re probably used to experimenting with together. It means tucking away your rational and logical thoughts for a time and focusing only of bringing something new and unique into the world. This can be done outside the home in structured classes such as pottery, or inside the home using paints and crafts.
Take a look on sites such as Pinterest for couples crafting ideas and give it a chance. Try not to overthink it, it’s not about perfection, it’s not about anyone being in charge. It’s about creating and working together.
Meditate
Meditation doesn’t have to be a thing reserved only for solo or group practise. Meditating with your partner a few times a week – or once a day if you’re really keen – is an extremely efficient and soulful way to reconnect and realign yourselves with one another.
You may think that sitting in a room silently with your eyes closed defeats the purpose of spending quality time together, but this truly comes down to your definition of quality.
Activities are what you make them and connecting on this level is as meaningful and important as any other.
Begin by choosing what you’ll both jointly meditate on, if you want a theme. You can also hold hands, or simply set an intention for peace. This doesn’t have to be more than 10 minutes out of an evening but is a lovely way to introduce a little harmony and learn to appreciate the space around and within you as a couple.