In the evolving landscape of modern dating, new terms often emerge to describe relationship dynamics that don’t quite fit traditional labels. One of the most talked-about in recent years is the situationship. You may have heard friends mention it, seen it referenced in social media posts, or even realised—perhaps reluctantly—that you might be in one yourself.

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Like other unconventional arrangements such as a friends with benefits relationship, a situationship blurs the line between friendship, romance, and commitment. While it may seem convenient or low-pressure, it can also create uncertainty, leaving one or both people unsure about where they stand. Understanding exactly what a situationship is, and how to recognise the signs, can help you decide whether it’s a stage you’re happy to stay in or a situation you’d rather move beyond.

What Exactly Is a Situationship?

A situationship relationship is a romantic or sexual connection that lacks clear definition or long-term commitment. Unlike casual dating, which can still involve honest conversations about boundaries and expectations, a situationship exists in a grey area.

There’s usually regular contact, physical intimacy, and some emotional connection, but neither person has explicitly agreed on the nature or direction of the relationship. The absence of clarity often means there’s no shared plan for the future, which can lead to misunderstandings.

So, what does it mean to be in a situationship? In short, it means you’re in a relationship-like arrangement without actually being in a defined relationship. It can be exciting at first, but over time the lack of commitment can become frustrating—especially if one person develops deeper feelings.

Signs You Might Be in a Situationship

Not sure whether your connection qualifies as a situationship? Here are some common signs:

  • Lack of labels – You haven’t defined what you are to each other, despite spending significant time together.
  • Unclear future – There are no conversations about long-term plans or exclusivity.
  • Inconsistent communication – Your interactions may be sporadic, especially outside of in-person meetings.
  • Minimal integration into each other’s lives – You may not meet their friends or family, even after months.
  • Convenience-based meetings – Plans often happen last minute or when it’s convenient for one party.

If you recognise several of these patterns, you may want to explore our guide to red flags in relationships to better understand the risks and decide if this dynamic is truly serving you.

Variations and Related Terms

As dating culture has evolved, so has its terminology. One related term is the textationship. This refers to a connection based almost entirely on text or online messaging, without much face-to-face interaction.

While a textationship can be harmless and even enjoyable for a time, it shares similarities with a situationship in that it often lacks a clear path forward. Both can be appealing for those seeking minimal emotional involvement, but they can also leave people feeling emotionally unfulfilled if their needs for connection and stability aren’t met.

Is a Situationship a Red Flag?

The answer depends on your goals and emotional needs. For some, a situationship offers the perfect balance of companionship and independence. For others, it represents a lack of commitment and emotional security, making it unsustainable in the long term.

When it can work:

  • Both parties are genuinely comfortable with the lack of definition.
  • There’s mutual respect and honesty about boundaries.
  • Neither person is seeking exclusivity or long-term commitment at that time.

When it’s a red flag:

  • One person is hoping for more while the other avoids clarity.
  • The arrangement is used to delay commitment indefinitely.
  • Communication is inconsistent or evasive.

Ultimately, a situationship isn’t inherently negative—but it becomes problematic when it doesn’t align with what you truly want.

From Situationship to Something More

If you find yourself in a situationship but would prefer a defined relationship, communication is key. Here’s how to approach it:

  1. Reflect on your needs – Be honest with yourself about what you want from the connection.
  2. Have the conversation – Express your feelings clearly and calmly, without placing blame.
  3. Be ready for any outcome – They may share your desire for clarity, or they may not be ready to commit.

If your goal is a committed partnership, moving beyond the uncertainty of a situationship may require seeking connections with people who share your values and intentions. For singles ready for something more structured, working with a professional service such as our London dating & matchmaking agency can help you meet compatible partners who are clear about what they want from the start.

FAQ

What exactly is a situationship?

It’s a romantic or sexual connection without clear labels, boundaries, or commitment, existing in a grey area between casual dating and a relationship.

What does it mean to be in a situationship?

It means you’re involved with someone in a relationship-like way, but without mutual agreement on the nature or direction of the connection.

How do you tell if it’s a situationship?

Signs include lack of labels, unclear future plans, inconsistent communication, and limited integration into each other’s lives.

What is a textationship?

A connection maintained mainly through messaging or online communication, often without significant in-person interaction.

Is a situationship a red flag?

Not necessarily—it depends on whether both parties are happy with the arrangement. However, it can be a red flag if one person wants more commitment than the other is willing to give.