Summer is over and I’m still single!!!
It’s a familiar angst. You may have had some fabulous dates, perhaps even a special romance captured your heart this summer, but now winter is looming and the fun appears to be over. All those sun-kissed moments are beginning to feel like long forgotten dreams, overtaken by the reality of wet and windy evenings alone indoors. Fear not however, all is not as bleak as it seems. This time of year holds just as many things to do and ways to stay relaxed, positive and fulfilled. You just need to work that little bit harder to find them.
Resist the urge to ‘wind down’
People automatically associate winter with the need to retreat and fall helplessly into hibernation. As brutal as the weather and daylight changes can feel, what you need to realise is that it actually doesn’t happen overnight. A way to combat the sudden shutting down of your private and social life is to acknowledge and use this slow build up to winter wisely.
Use the lead up to winter, whilst everyone is still feeling energised and adventurous, to plan your next few months ahead so there’s always something to look forward to. Plan theatre shows, gigs, spas, trips and book tables at exclusive restaurants that have extra long waiting lists. It’s really up to you to make an effort here, using the same amount of dedication you used throughout summer to have the fun and frolics that you did. On cold winter days and nights it can be harder to be spontaneous, so plan early and give yourself a fighting chance.
Start something new
There’s no doubting that it can be hard being single during winter when all of your friends are either married or busy with their children. So, this is the perfect time to begin a new hobby, especially if you value your own personal space and actually want time away from your usual entourage of friends and family. Hobbies are a great way of getting in touch with who you are as an individual and allowing yourself to be selfish in pursuing something just for you, simply because you want to.
Starting a new hobby or re-igniting an old passion not only means you’re actively learning or taking part in something you enjoy, but it can also be a way of getting out there, socialising and meeting new people. Team sports are especially good for the comradery and whether you’re single or not wont matter. Find activities you really like and you may even enjoy the freedom that being single is able to give you.
Keep your dating mind straight
Dating, and generally enjoying yourself in life, is heavily dependent on the mindset that you have. The mistake some people make in the dating world is to give up, batten down the hatches and aim to resume their search when the weather is a little more forgiving. Seriously, are you going to let a little rain or snow stand in the way of Mr or Mrs Right? If the answer is no, then wrap up warm, dig out the umbrella and keep going on those dates like nothing has changed.
Don’t get us wrong, taking time for yourself or having a dating break is fine, even advisable sometimes, but it doesn’t have to last months on end. The fact that you’re still active in your search for love, is testament to the fact that people who were single during summer don’t automatically disappear or become unavailable in winter. Stay focused on your goals, maybe adjust your dating venues and dust off your cold-weather wardrobe, but remain in the game.
Don’t stop working out
Apart from wearing tiny tops and cut-off shorts, winter is not an excuse to stop doing anything. If you’re a gym bunny, runner, or active in any way, don’t fall into the trap of reducing your exercise routine or cutting it out all together.
Adjust your regime of course, if you need to make it more feasible for the new weather conditions, but aim to keep it up until at least mid-winter. By this time you’ll have broken the back of any desire to give up due to seasonal changes, and you’ll feel good about your dedication. You’ll also have maintained that great body of yours, for the winter-sun holiday that pops up unexpectedly.
A lasting word
Being single in winter isn’t the end of the world. The more you keep focused, stay positive and take care of yourself, the more likely you’ll have the right mental and emotional attitude when it comes to dating and meeting new people. The effort starts with you, so make it worthy of the winter you want to have.
Written by Tori Ufondu for Macbeth Matchmaking